Meet Miss Amerikill

Yes, I did. I went to my first roller derby in Austin. Staying the first few nights at the Hilton Downtown, I awoke each morning to a flashing LCD sign on the Austin Convention Center just across the street. The Hellcats versus The Cherry Bombs, and only $15 a pop. Guess what? It actually is a sport. They offer a program with the rules of the game and everything. It's was a blast, though I only hung around until after the intermission, during which I mingled with the chain-smoking roller queens. My favorite: Miss Amerikill, who is my new number two butt-kicking heroine, right after Sigourney Weaver in all things Alien. I think I should join forces with this cheeky blonde to pitch a 1970's-flavored sitcom: Amerikill and Mike. Sort of like Laverne and Shirley, but with cigarettes and wheels. It couldn't possible turn out any worse than Gary Unmarried.